Raise your hand if you've ever found yourself fighting with your GPS navigation system. OK, you can put your hand down now, that's what I thought! Every one of us has probably found themselves clenching the steering wheel and arguing with that bossy condescending lady that does not know how to properly pronounce your street name. No, it's not Huh-zull-tin it's pronounced Hazelton sort of like hazelnut. Looks like little Ms. Know it All was absent the day they taught vowel sound rules in 1st grade. Pretty sure when "e" follows "z" the "a" is a long vowel sound. And no, I can't make a U-turn in 200 feet and no, no, no, don't tell me you're recalculating! I just happen to know this side street is faster than your gas guzzling route so put a sock in it lady! My all time favorite navigation operator is the Arizona Road Assistance 5-1-1 operator. Oh, it all sounds great in theory. Planning a road trip? Simply dial 5-1-1 and tell the operator what information you would like regarding freeway closures and construction. The cheery computerized voice asks you to speak your choice from the menu. You can say, "roads", "transit", "airport" or "tourism." Here's the evil part...although I don't know you, I'm going to bet that you know how to pronounce the word ROADS. Well guess what? I do too! Using a 76 decibel volume I enunciate the word ROADS as if I'm a speech therapist teaching a bilingual child how to pronounce the word. Within an instant, the cheery computerized voice who we'll just call Satan to keep things simple, replies, "ok, AIRPORT!" This is just the beginning. If your persistence is strong enough and you're determined to not to let this immortal faceless gatekeeper get you down you will eventually get information on roads. That's where the real fun starts. You'll request information on I-17 Beeline highway and she'll give you the low down on the South 202 loop! It's not a big deal, it's only 117 degrees and you've got a suburban full of kids and melting coolers so you can certainly afford to travel aimlessly. Just when you feel the sudden urge to hurt someone in a malicious and gory way, she'll come thru loud and clear on your Bluetooth with, "Sorry you're having trouble." And you and I both know she has about as much empathy as the bully who stole your pb&j sandwich in the 2nd grade! This specific Creative Message Media video was inspired by many frustrating moments with my navigation system. I call it the Naggitator. It nags and navigates you all at once! The message was specifically created to help the parents of Bright Beginnings school in Chandler, AZ. If you've ever driven a school carpool lane, you know it makes riding in a NYC taxi feel like meditation!
So my fabulous webmaster, Brad Hall from BradHallArt.com recommended I bite the bullet and start a blog for Creative Message Media. The conversation took place at 8:54a.m. this morning and it sounded like a simple concept, go to blogger.com, get a profile, add a photo and type away! Easy peasy lemon squeezy as my 7 year old daughter says. It's now 11:53am, oops make that 1:13pm, funny how time flies when you're still in your jammies and your teeth are begging to be brushed for the first time today. I'm just now recovering from the initial blogger profile set up. Ya know, the typical pick a password, oops that one is too weak. Hmm, smellyarmpitsarefun is too weak? Type in another password and oops, that one is already taken! Really, SparkyBalls1991!?2 is already taken? So I finally pick the magical password that has adequate characters, digits, and a perfect combination of upper and lower case letters only to never remember it again! Yippee! It's not over yet, once you get the username and password, you get to decode the special encrypted word in ooey, gooey ultra warped bold font that looks like it's melting before your eyes. I give it the old college try and type in the word, "otmneeryis" because that is what I read. Nope, that is incorrect! Here's another chance...
Oh, hang on a second let me just get a few hits of LSD and spin my office chair around a few hundred times and then I'll be able to simply decode the warped text. Somehow, I think the blogger website felt sorry for me and allowed me to get to the Post page! I'm exhausted, going back to bed! If you need to reach me before my next awe-inspiring post you can call 480-225-0128.
